Counting My Blessings

Two months ago, I posted that I was hurting spiritually. With some encouragement from friends, and a resolve to get my life back together, I am pleased that God is answering my prayers to once again grow close to Him. I'm not where I should be, but I'm no longer where I was. I started reading my Bible again - faithfully - going through the Psalms, which have been a source of encouragement many times in the past. This time through, I am seeing many new things, probably because my situation is different. I am awed once again by God's lovingkindness as expressed so eloquently by the various Psalmists.

I found myself counting my blessings the other day as God brought many things to my mind. Some of them include (in no particular order):

~ A friendship that was mended, I believe because of Phil's illness;

~ My two beautiful daughters, who both love the Lord and want to serve Him. They haven't had it easy, having grown up with a mom who is handicapped because of fibromyalgia, and now having their dad suffer from kidney failure and incurable cancer. Nonetheless, this has helped shape their character and make them who they are today;

~ The company my husband worked for since late 1986, which allows medically disabled employees to keep their benefits even through their employment is terminated. I can't imagine where we'd be financially if we hadn't been able to keep our medical insurance. And even though that is changing for the worse because of federal law which mandates that dialysis patients go on Medicare after a certain number of months, things could be much much worse;

~ Pastor Lloyd and his wife, Cheri, whom we met at our very first church after we were married, then didn't see for about 15 years, then came back into our lives when we went to our new church. They know firsthand about incurable cancer;

~ Wonderful friends that I've met over the Internet, especially the ladies from Stamp and Scrap 4 Joy;

~ Having no debt. Thanks to my grandfather, we own our house free and clear;

~ A husband who has and is enduring more than I could ever imagine, yet whose faith in God does not waiver;

~ My parents and in-laws, who have supported us in innumerable ways.

Count Your Blessings

When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Refrain: Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
And you will keep singing as the days go by. Refrain

When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings. Wealth can never buy
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high. Refrain

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be disheartened, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end. Refrain

Listen to it here.

Resurrection Sunday

If I read about eggs and bunnies on one more blog where the author claims to be a Christian, I think I will scream. It probably should make me sad, but instead it makes me angry. We are supposed to be celebrating the miracle of Christ's resurrection from the dead, of His atoning sacrifice on the cross of Calvary. Instead, many are participating in the pagan worship of Astarte, goddess of fertility. I'd urge you to read What is the Origin of Easter?

Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but continually be transformed by the renewing of your minds so that you may be able to determine what God's will is-what is proper, pleasing, and perfect. (International Standard Version)

II Corinthians 6: 14 - 17 Do not become unequally yoked with unbelievers; for what participation is there for righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion is there for light with darkness? And what agreement is there for Christ with Belial? Or what part is there for a believer with an infidel? And what union is there for the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God, just as God has said: "I will dwell in them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be My people." Therefore "Come out from the midst of them and be separated," says the Lord. "Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you."
(English Majority Text Version)

My prayer is that you are remembering Jesus Christ and Him alone today and every day.

Bad News

We found out early Friday evening that my husband's cancer is no longer in remission. It stinks. In my head, I know that Romans 8:28 is true, but I'm not feeling it in my heart. I don't want to go through this again - the treatment, the feeling lousy. The strain it puts on me to transport Phil to treatment. It's been a terrible couple of months for me, with my fibromyalgia giving me more pain, stiffness and fatigue than I've had previously. I can only hope that I will feel better once it's warmer.

If you're interested, you can visit the Multiple Myeloma Research Foundation or International Myeloma Foundation for information on Multiple Myeloma and treatments. You can also go to Phil's Caring Bridge site and read the journal I've kept on Phil since June 6, 2006 (nearly six months after his initial diagnosis on Dec. 16, 2005.)

To this promise I must cling.

A Tribute

If he had lived, my grandfather would have turned 102 today. For some reason, I have always remembered his birthday, even when I can't recall those of my in-laws. (Shame on me.) Grandpa died when he was 96 (I believe), and up until the last few years of his life, he was active and healthy.

Grandpa grew up with an abusive father (perhaps some would simply call him old school), played football, and graduated from high school at a time when that was quite an accomplishment. He left Kansas after high school, setting off for the big city of Chicago, where he got a job as a janitor at the Martin-Senour paint company. I believe he went to night school, and soon worked his way up to accountant. When he retired, he was company treasurer. Not bad for a boy from the sticks!

My grandparents had two children: my mom, Kathy, and her brother, Bill, who died in his teens. Although not a man of many words, and not lavish with his praise, he was thrilled with my mom's musical accomplishments. Several years before his death, he helped our family purchase a new piano so that my two girls could further their musical abilities.

Grandpa loved to play golf, and he did so until his legs began giving him a lot of trouble due to spinal stenosis. He even hit a hole-in-one once! He followed all the great golfers, and talked about them whenever he could.

We were blessed to have Grandpa move to our hometown some years before he died. I wish I had spent more time with him, but I treasure the dinners we shared while he lived in a retirement center about 1/2 hour away. That place knew how to plan and serve a fabulous meal, and it cost our family mere pennies to eat with him.

I still remember the day he died. My parents had been away on vacation, and were scheduled to return that day. I awoke to find a message on my answering machine from the nursing home where we had moved Grandpa when it became apparent he could not live alone, asking me to call. I did, and they informed me that he had simply dropped dead in front of the nurse, whom he had gone to see after breakfast because he was feeling "strange." In my shock, I managed to get the needed information, and immediately called my husband, who made arrangements to come home. For some reason, my parents decided to stop at our house on their way home (which they've never done since), and I had the very difficult job of telling them that Grandpa was gone. Apart from learning my husband has incurable cancer, that's probably the most difficult thing I've had to deal with in my 47 years.

During a visit Phil and I had with Grandpa in the last six months of his life, Phil asked him if he knew where he would spend eternity. Grandpa answered that he had made that decision early in his life. Although we didn't get any further information from him, my deepest desire is that he had trusted in Jesus Christ for his salvation and that I will one day see him again.

Happy birthday, Grandpa.